50 Shades of Black
by Kream45
Summary: Tracer meets a really nice guy through Tinder. But on their first date in real life, the girl is met with a disappointment.


**/Sorry for not posting for so long, but my studies have finally decided that it's time to rape my ass on every occasion. Whatever that means./**

Tracer was browsing black guys on Tinder. She loved black people so much, that she didn't want to date non-black guys. She scrolled and scrolled, searching for the perfect one.

And then she saw him. Tyrone, age 25, lived in the blackest district of Los Angeles. On the picture she saw that he was black as night.

" _That's the one…"_ she whispered, " _I must do everything to make him my boyfriend!"_

She texted him a nice, warm welcome message. But she lost her shit and instead of just saying "Hi, how are you?" she actually described her whole life and explained why Tyrone was meant for her and she would kill herself if he didn't reply.

Fortunately, he did reply.

"Hi there! It's nice to see that a white girl likes black guys! Kind of weird though, I must admit!" wrote Tyrone.

"HOLY SHIT!" Tracer gasped, "He replied! THAT MEANS HE LOVES ME!"

Tracer bombarded him with questions about the life of black people. She had that weird habit, that whenever she met someone black, she always asked "How is feels to be black?". Whenever somebody heard that, they'd walk away.

But Tyrone was a nice guy. She answered every question Tracer threw at him with ease and class. It almost felt like he wasn't actually black. Because, as everybody knows, black people are actually very aggressive. They can release their primordial rage at any time. That's why she had troubles finding a black boyfriend. She was just scared of rejection.

Tyrone seemed so nice, she had decided that she has to marry him.

"So, Tyrone, maybe you'd like to meet? Like, tonight at the park in LA?" Tracer asked.

"Oh, that would be fantastic!" Tyrone replied, "But what park in LA? There are plenty of them here."

"Oh…" Tracer started panicking, because she thought there was only one park in LA, and Tyrone now explained that there are multiple parks, which complicates the story and forces the author to search for LA parks in Google.

"Umm… how about Central Park? It's in LA, right?" Tracer wrote.

"Yes, it is! You know so much about USA!" Tyrone complemented her.

Tracer blushed, because nobody has ever complemented her knowledge before. Every other guy would just stare at her ASS, and let me tell you, Tracer's ass is a full 10 out of 10. Nice, round, tight, great to dine on…

What.

Umm, it's not like I find a non-existent character from a silly video game about shooting each other attractive ***nervous laughter*** well actually I do, fuck you. I'm even gonna go as far as to say that Tracer is even better than Lena Oxton, don't you dare fucking judge me, or else I'm gonna send my network of AssAssins after you.

ANYWAY.

Tracer and Tyrone decided to meet in the park at 11 pm. Tracer spent the rest of the evening preparing for the date. She brought her dictionary of popular black ghetto phrases, a pair of aviator goggles in case he wants to fly his airplane into her hangar, and a few cans of whipped cream, just in case.

And then they met.

"Hi!" Tyrone waved at her, he was waiting for her.

" _Holy shit, he's so black…"_ Tracer thought as she was approaching him, " _Maybe I don't deserve meeting someone so black? Oh my God, I'm so lucky…"_

"H-hi!" Tracer mumbled out.

"I have to admit, I was kind of afraid you wouldn't come. But you did, and you're actually a real girl! And you're so pretty!"

Tracer's heartrate increased.

"Umm… thanks :)" she said, "Say… wanna have sex?"

"Uh, what? I mean, don't get me wrong, I like you and all, but we've just met."

"But I desire your big, black PENIS! RIGHT! NOW!" Tracer screamed.

"Woah woah, don't scream like that, hehehe!" Tyrone laughed at the few people who've just passed them, and then whispered to Tracer, "Tracer, don't be so loud, please!"

"Let's do it on that tree."

"What?"

"Like apes, primal beings straight from the cavemen era."

"Huh?"

"I don't take HUH for an answer!"

And then Tracer dragged Tyrone on top of the tree and forced him to have intercourse with her.

Then Tyrone said that what she did was very irresponsible and he fears for her mental condition. That made Tracer even hornier, so she grabbed him and ran to her house to have some more.

"Alright, this is my house." She said, "Make yourself at home."

"Umm, alright." Tyrone replied and took of his jacket, "Where can I hang this?"

"The hanger is right…" Tracer turned around and looked him in the eyes, "… here…"

"What? What's wrong, you look pale."

"Your face…"

Tracer turned on the lights.

"What? What about my face? Am I dirty?"

"You're… you're… a MULATTO!"

"… yes, I am. I thought you like black people?"

"You're not black, you're… brown!"

"?"

"I thought you were pure! That you were 100% black!"

"But being Mulatto is just like being…"

"NO IT'S NOT!" Tracer shouted, "Being Mulatto means that one of your ancestors was WHITE, and WHITE SUCKS!"

"But you're white!"

"AND I HATE IT!"

"I don't understand any of this…"

"Oh really? WELL! You've cheated! Because I thought you were black! Your Tinder picture suggested so! And in the park you also looked black!"

"It's nighttime, of course I will look more black than usual. And I took this picture in a dark room."

"I can't believe I had sex with some FAKE-ASS PIECE OF SHIT!"

"That's it, I've had enough. Sorry Tracer, but I'm going home. Don't text me anymore."

"You're not going anywhere, you piece of shit." Tracer said in rage, "You lied to me, and that why you're gonna PAY!"

And then she put a bomb in his ass and he exploded into tiny pieces.

"You piece of shit." Tracer spit on the remains, "If you were actually black, you would have been able to escape that."

And that's why Tracer has decided to travel to Africa. She found a village full of black people with really long penises. She moved there and her life was full of blackness.

 **THE END**

Remember guys that mulattos are not fully black. You need to be aware of that and don't let anybody fool you.


End file.
